Closing out 2020

Today on New Year’s Eve, I am reflecting on the many ups and downs I’ve struggled through this year, especially coming up and out of a difficult bout with the COVID virus. Every breath is a blessing. Even the chance to sit up in a wheelchair today is, for me, a precious gift (caregiving help has been understandably scarce, and so, my bed was my healing-place for a while).

Frankly, at times I faltered, feeling confined and overwhelmed by my COVID-compounded disability, but in my need, “The Lord stood by me and gave me strength” (2nd Timothy 4:17). So, today feels pretty special and, like you, I am hope-filled about the future.

I look back over the year and see that COVID tended to restrict many things; 2020 has shown this to be a fact – most people are hesitant and fearful about the future.

But God has a way of making our souls bigger when comforts are few, our faith is pressed hard, and we feel squeezed in on many sides.

It is when he does his best work in our hearts, for in every affliction, God delights in stretching our soul’s capacity for himself… if we would but “Trust in the Lord at all times” (Psalm 62:8).

Not just when times are easy, or when we feel healthy, but at all times. During tenuous times. Scary times. COVID times. And so, COVID may have restricted many things, but not my heart. As I continue recovering, my heart is overflowing with a large vision, a roomy life of prayer, and a spacious willingness to embrace whatever challenges may come. It’s a little like that “largeness of heart” that God gave Solomon in 1 Kings 4:29 (KJV). I can feel this; I sense it. During my illness, my joys were big and quiet… not little joys that drained away after an hour. Prayers were earnest and from the heart. Jesus filled my thinking. That’s the sign of a large heart.

Recently, a friend sent me an article by Henry Jowett who described how little hearts are timid when it comes to trusting God with big, impossible things. Little hearts have no capacity, no roominess. But a “largeness of heart” means you can rise above petty irritations and find supernatural strength to embrace God with glad, willful thanks.

Henry Jowett said, “Littleness of heart makes all big things impossible. Little hearts have no capacity; they cannot breathe in an atmosphere of largeness. But large hearts always have room for something more.”

What is that “more” God wants you to step into this year?

I hope it is a bigger soul. A soul that believes God more. Believes his promises more. I’m convinced you want a bigger faith in Jesus, presenting him a heart that is instant in obedience and absolute in trust. And it’s my prayer for you in the coming years, because the only difference between people with large hearts and those with small ones is… they love God more. I want to do that as I go forward; I want to love God more. And I want to share his Good News with thousands of other people like me, people with disabilities who often feel overwhelmed by their afflictions, too. I want them to know that Jesus stands by their side to give them strength… and a large heart!

Yes, this month was hard, but I am saying to God today “I will be glad and rejoice in your love, for you saw my affliction… you have set my feet in a broad and spacious place” (Psalm 31:7-8).

Or I could paraphrase it, “Lord, I am happy with the way you love me, for you saw my affliction and you stretched my heart to be broad and spacious for you to fill.” So, thank you for joining me this New Year as we celebrate our big God who does wonderfully, impossible things through our faith.

Live a large faith as we head into the months ahead, for, “God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind [and a roomy faith]” (2nd Timothy 1:7).

-Joni Eareckson Tada