Fight or Flight
It’s called fight or flight and we do it all the time.
Hi, I’m Joni Eareckson Tada, and I first learned about our instincts to either fight or flee when I was a teenager sitting in my high school social sciences class. I was listening to a lecture on how humans react to fear. The teacher summed up our response to fear with three words: “Flight or fight.” I recall thinking, Well no wonder I’m worn out! I mean, I’m constantly afraid of what other people think of me; I’m nervous that no one will ask me to the sophomore dance; I’m afraid I’ll fail my chemistry test; I’m afraid I won’t make the varsity basketball team. I mean, it seemed half my life was spent avoiding certain people and situations (that was flight) or struggling to make the grade (and that was the fight). And here I was only 15 years old, but already I was emotionally so tired.
Looking back, that teacher in high school should’ve told us about Proverbs chapter 29 where it says, “Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.” Well, just what does a fear of man look like? Well, although you can be an avowed worshiper of God below the surface, the real “god” can be others around you. To fear man includes being afraid of someone, but it also means holding someone in awe, or being controlled or mastered by the opinions of others, or putting all your trust in people, or needing others to an unhealthy extent. In short, you replace God with people. The fear of man goes by other names, too. Teenagers call it “peer-pressure.” Adults call it “people-pleasing.” Psychologists label it “codependency.” So, how do you know if you possess a fear of man?
Well, it could be as simple as painting on a smile, or putting on a front when you want to impress others. It could be feeling afraid of being exposed as a poser. Your spouse could be the one you fear—the one who controls you and quietly takes the place of God in your life. How about needing the opinions of others to buttress your sense of well-being and identity? Or how about not wanting to make mistakes that make you look bad to your friends?
So what’s the antidote to all this fear? Again, Proverbs has the answer, but this time in Chapter 19, verse 23 where it says, “The fear of the Lord leads to life: Then one rests content, untouched by trouble.” Virtually all our worry and stress could be alleviated if we traded a “fear of man” for a “fear of the Lord.” We need a way to think less often about ourselves, and more often about God. Edward Welch has said that, “God must be bigger to you than people are.” In other words, sometimes we need our friends and family more for ourselves than we love them for the glory of God. The Lord wants us to emotionally “require” people less and love them more. To escape the fear of man is to recognize that God is awesome and glorious, not other people. We need to understand and grow in the fear of the Lord because the person who fears God will fear nothing else!
You know, I talk about this in my booklet “Breaking the Bonds of Fear,” and I sure would love to send you one. Just go to my radio page today at joniandfriends.org and ask for your free gift—yep, it’s free. It’s called “Breaking the Bonds of Fear” because I want you to move from terror before the Lord, toward devotion and enjoyment of Him. So visit us today at joniandfriends.org/radio and ask for “Breaking the Bonds of Fear.” And hey, if you need more inspiration, you just have to go to my blog today at joniandfriends.org. Again, that’s my blog at joniandfriends.org.
© Joni and Friends
