Parents Need Friends

By |Published On: May 25, 2018|Categories: 4-Minute Radio Program|

Want to know what parents of kids with autism really need?

Hi, I’m Joni Eareckson Tada and believe me, in our ministry at Joni and Friends, I meet hundreds of moms and dads of kids with autism, and those children are everywhere on the autism spectrum. So, what do these parents really need? Well, let me answer that question with a quick visual, because you’ve probably seen it happen.

You’re at the grocery store and you hear this shrieking wailing coming from the next aisle. You kind of peek around the corner and there’s a boy shouting and screaming on the floor, kicking and punching at his mother. The whole thing is so weird, so out of the ordinary, and so, a little embarrassed, you quickly do an about-face with your cart. Or if you have a child in tow, you grab their hand and move to the next aisle, thinking, ‘Boy does that kid over there need some strong discipline! What you don’t know is that the boy has autism and is incredibly sensitive to loud noises – maybe a shopper had accidentally dropped a couple of cans of tomatoes, and the noise set him off. What you also don’t know is that his day-time aid had canceled, and the mother had no choice but to take her son to the store with her. Sadly, her worst fears happened when those cans clattered to the floor. That’s when she gathered up her screaming son, grabbed her purse out of the cart, and left the store and her groceries behind.

It’s an unfortunate scenario, but it happens more often than you’d realize. And sometimes even when we know that a friend’s child has special needs, we are still tempted to blame parents for their child’s behavior. Mothers and fathers of kids with autism really try to hold life together by their fingers and toes, barely hanging on to their sanity. They are tired of feeling the sting of rejection, and they desperately want their son or daughter with autism to be understood.

Well, that’s where we as Christians can make a difference. You may know an aunt, an uncle, a cousin or a grandparent of someone who has autism. If so, they may struggle to understand or accept their loved one’s autistic behaviors. And as their friend, your support and understanding can make a huge difference for the whole family. The fruit of the spirit that’s listed in Galatians Chapter 5 provides us with a great model for practicing how to treat people, like that mom in the supermarket aisle with her little boy gone ballistic. We must live lives of love, as it says in Galatians; lives of joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. While none of us succeeds completely at this, you can continue striving to be the kind of friend who is the hands and feet of Jesus to those moms and dads. And it can begin with a simple, “Here, let me help… just tell me, how can I help?” Even if it’s nothing more than holding the shopping cart and watching that mother’s purse, anything to show acceptance and understanding. That is the Christian thing to do when you witness a scenario such as that one in the supermarket.

And hey, you can learn more things to do through a new booklet by Joni and Friends called “Autism”. It’s a part of our ‘help-a-friend’ series. And it’s yours for the asking by visiting joniandfriends.org/radio today. Pick up your free copy and let it be your guide. It’s all there for you at joniandfriends.org/radio. And once again, let me list those attributes from Galatians because it’s all about love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, self-control, and maybe the best one of all, gentleness toward those moms and dads of kids with disabilities. Oh, and thanks for listening today and again, don’t forget joniandfriends.org/radio.

© Joni and Friends

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